Who doesn’t love going to the cinema? Myself and the lads from JumpCut UK, Jakob & Nick, sure enjoy it – well most of the time. It’s a shame that a small number of people (although this small number seems to be constantly rising) often ruin this cherished experience for everyone. So, in this Movie Chat we’re all going to present to you our biggest cinema sin and offer some improvements we think could make the cinema going experience that little bit better!
Jakob’s Biggest Cinema Sin – Noisy Snacks!
Is it mandatory for cinemas to only offer snacks which create a hell of a lot of noise? Don’t get me wrong, I love nachos, and popcorn is pretty damn good too, but there’s a time and a place. The one place I would recommend NOT chowing down on kernels and crisps, is right behind me at the cinema when I’m trying to focus on the one thing we are all supposed to be there for – the film! Going to the cinema can be an enjoyable and very sociable experience, but once the lights go down and the film kicks in, you really should only be consuming what’s on the big screen. The solution is simple, just stop buying these ludicrously loud snacks and the cinemas will stop selling it. Be considerate, be prepared and smuggle in some nice, soft chocolate like I do. Don’t tell Cineworld I said that!
On a positive note, cinemas are improving all the time, and getting more and more comfortable. They’re still not quite comfortable enough for me yet though. Ideally, I would get the big-screen experience and not have to leave my bed to do so. A crazy dream you say! Well, maybe not. Around the world there are special, luxury theatres which allow the audience to cosy up in a bed and watch the film from there. Sounds perfect to me!
Nick’s Biggest Cinema Sin – People Who Can’t Sit Still!
I think we can all admit that at some point in our lives, we have become inexplicably infuriated with every single member of the human race simultaneously, whether it be their fault or not. A trip to the cinema is an event that confirms to me that it’s not me being completely unreasonable, but in fact that people are genuinely, horrendously annoying. My first gripe is when people go to refill their drinks or snacks. Firstly, nobody actually needs food and drink in the quantity that the cinema provides (for the extortionate prices they charge), but I can accept that people like to have a bit of light refreshment to accompany their film. What I can’t accept however, is the fact that people need a refill during a two hour period of time. If you’ve managed to guzzle down five litres of Coca Cola and your own body weight in hot dogs, and you still want more in the two hour time period that it takes to watch a film, you seriously need to evaluate. Given that people also seem incapable of not hurling popcorn or nachos about as they try to subtly make their way back to their seats, we have a problem. The same goes for people who get up and go to the toilet. If you know you are somebody who is going to need to nip to the loo at some point, then please do everyone the decency of booking a seat at the end of a row or near an exit, or maybe don’t attempt to drink an entire lake of Tango Ice Blast before the film even begins.
Finally, the trailers are done with, the lights have dimmed and the film has begun. I’m just settling down to immerse myself in my film of choice but ten minutes in some chap and his girlfriend who would clearly rather be anywhere else are struggling past me to get to their seat. You have literally had 30 minutes of adverts and trailers to make sure you’re in your seat in time for the film, and somehow you’re still late? Easily resolve this problem by doing a little bit of forward-thinking and planning, meaning you’ll be able to get to the cinema in time and take your seat before the film starts, and we can all enjoy the film together in peace. Until you get up to go and get some more popcorn that is…
Hamish’s Biggest Cinema Sin – Talkers!
A trip to the cinema should be a two hour escape from your everyday life, a chance to immerse yourself into a new and exciting world and an opportunity to get to know weird and wonderful characters. What it shouldn’t be is a two hour ordeal of trying to listen to a film amongst the conversations of all those around you. There is a special place in hell for those people who talk in the cinema. It’s not like people try and whisper these days, they flat out have conversations at a normal volume. Wait a minute, that actually can’t be right – when you think just how loud the sound can be in the cinema, and for me to be able to hear people speaking, how loud must they be speaking!? I’m not stereotyping, but in my personal experience it’s middle aged couples who are the worst offenders. You’re not in your front room, this isn’t ‘Gogglebox’ so shut up! Oh, and the large majority of teenagers just shouldn’t be allowed to step foot inside a cinema; no one is finding your jokes funny, instead we’re all silently hoping that you’ll choke on your popcorn.
Over the past months it’s been good to see some of my local cinemas put up messages before the film starts asking the audience not to talk. However, not once has this actually worked. The amount of times I have to get up and move seats to avoid people incapable of sitting in silence for a few hours is ridiculous, and don’t even get me started about when it’s assigned seating! Anyway what I think might help this issue would be an increased number of screen checks.
So in conclusion; sit down, shut up and eat soft chocolate! If you can abide by these simple rules we’ll be more than happy to watch a movie with you. If not, just do everyone a favour and wait for the DVD of the film you never even cared about in the first place!
Those are our biggest cinema sins but we want to know what yours are. Leave a comment below or drop us a tweet over on our twitter accounts!
Written and edited by Nick Deal, Jakob Lewis Barnes & Hamish Calvert