(spoiler free)
From its opening sequence – which is literally just the finale of Fast Five (2011) – it’s abundantly clear that Fast X has not a single original idea under its bonnet. Considering the franchise began as a comparatively small-scale street racing flick, it’s quite remarkable that it’s found the milage to continue for *checks notes* eleven films. However since Furious 7 (2015) – when the brakes should have been applied indefinitely – the fuel used to obtain this movie mileage has become increasingly cheap, and Fast X is the worst offender yet.
Seeking revenge for the murder of his father and the loss of their family fortune, during the events of Fast Five, Jason Momoa’s new villain Dante Reyes is hellbent on making Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto pay for what he did. And his plan is to hit him where it really hurts: his family, obviously. Once this generic revenge plot is eventually established, by way of shamelessly and retroactively inserting Momoa in the franchise’s previous high point, Fast X finally gets the green light and moves off the start line. But after stalling so prematurely, it never recovers.
Although as many of the franchise’s fans will so confidently protest, no one’s really here for the story, and thank goodness, as it’s abysmal. It scatters the team, giving the film several subplots that exist for no other purpose than to set up future films and facilitate cameos. So despite its physical scale, there’s just absolutely zero stakes. This isn’t a problem that Fast X is solely responsible for though, as it’s more of a franchise-wide issue that’s developed over time. Nonetheless its damaging effects are very much felt here. With a never-ending roster of extended family members as well as foes turned friends waiting in the wings to save the day – often returning from the dead in the process – any sense of peril from the plot has all but vanished.
The only remaining peril is actually for the audience, as we face the threat of the Fast family tree which continues to grow exponentially; this latest instalment introducing a further four new characters after Momoa’s eccentric villain. Rita Moreno, Brie Larson, Daniela Melchior and Alan Ritchson are the new recruits tasked with bringing them to life, but amongst the ridiculous, now Avengers-sized cast, they struggle to make much impact at all. They’re not really to blame though, it’s the careless treatment of their characters, like the narrative, that’s responsible. This constant addition of new characters and retconning of the established narrative has made anything possible and ultimately created a franchise that narratively, has nothing to offer.
But remember, no-one’s here for the story. So at least the action still delivers? If only. Unfortunately the very same issues with characters and narrative are inherent of the action too. Of course this element has the potential to, and really should be a lot of fun, but when there’s no care for the characters, nobody stays dead and nothing’s off limits in terms of weapons, tech and vehicles, there’s just no thrill to any of it anymore. The franchise’s overindulgence in its own action has truly backfired.
There’s a further issue in Fast X in that the action just doesn’t look all that good. Its over reliance on VFX has stripped the action of all its feeling, meaning hardly any of it is tangible anymore. That isn’t to say that the majority of the franchise’s action was ever realistic, but in the context of the film, viewers still need to see the characters grounded in these sequences – it needs to feel real for them. The constant attempts to outdo the action has left the film with nowhere to go. So much so that the best action moment in this film is actually a throwaway motorbike stunt featuring Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty. In a simple, yet smart manoeuvre she bypasses an obstacle in the road. It’s a truly minuscule moment amongst all the madness, but one that stands out, simply because, unlike everything else, it’s palpable.
However, the franchise’s interest in reality disappeared a long time ago. And while many welcome this, it’s hard to see the quality in this complete abandonment. Now instead of actual dialogue, all the characters just speak in tiresome metaphors that have your eyes rolling faster than the film can introduce a new family member. At the very least there’s potential entertainment to be gleaned from Momoa’s villainous turn, in which he’s truly doing the most. Yet, his character just feels representative of the franchise as a whole now: a joke. One that the film thinks it’s in on, but fails to realise that it’s actually the butt of. Nevertheless, Momoa’s flamboyant performance will probably distract audiences from how boring and uninspired the rest of the film is, and hopefully also from its truly deranged attempts at comedy, at least two of which should really have been left on the cutting-room floor.
It would take far more than deleting two scenes to salvage this cinematic car crash though. As in dragging out the story for yet another tired lap of the same cursory circuit, Fast X continues the work of its more recent predecessors in tarnishing the actual highlights of its once fun franchise.
Written by Hamish Calvert
★
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